What did you actually say to your children in response to their request. This is a great reflection but quite complex in terms of discussion with young children.
Salam--thank you for reading and thank you for the question! It's a really good one but, because of when I became a stepfather, I haven't ever had to face the challenge of how to answer these kinds of questions with much younger kids. Although I can shed some background that might be helpful, God willing.
When the girls asked the question they did, that is, about having a Christmas tree, they were about 13 and 11, if I remember right. Their mom answered the question as follows: she said that we were Muslim, and it wasn't our holiday, and so quite simply we didn't celebrate.
But then they pointed out that some of their Muslim friends had Christmas trees, and these included friends who attended the local masjid (ICGC) and Sunday school too. That one we navigated carefully. We said we treated Christmas trees as part of celebrating Christmas. Other families didn't.
We told them that every family had their own way of doing things, but that was ours; I don't know that it was incredibly persuasive, but they seemed to accept this, or at least quietly dropped it. Later that week, though, we went to jumu'ah (Friday prayers) and experienced a divine intervention.
A preacher we hadn't heard before gave an impassioned sermon about the importance of maintaining a strong Muslim identity. It was quite good, good enough that, on her own, the eldest volunteered that she liked it and she understood why we didn't have Christmas trees.
Since then, it hasn't come up. (To the best of my knowledge, our youngest, who's close to 10 now, hasn't asked about it recently either.) But because of how important it is, and because I want my answer here to make sense to them one day, I decided that tawheed was going to be the focus of our halaqa.
We slowly and gradually explored tawheed and, with it, slowly and gradually introduce its opposite, to help them understand the basic reasons for Muslim practices. We don't know if that's enough, but we think it's really important (even as we recognize it's a work in progress...)
How about you? I take it from your question that the topic's of interest--so I'm guessing it's come up in some way?
I have a 9 year old and a 3 year old. The 3 year old is oblivious still. The 9 year old asked once and I gave the same kind of answer as above ( I was hoping you had better ideas lol). He seems ok with it and never brought it up again, but sometimes I feel being Muslim especially this time of year is a hard sell. He may be thinking about it and just not verbalising his feelings. Ours is the the only house on the street without lights. He’s a minority at school not getting presents this time of year. To complicate this some members of the family are not Muslim, and my children will see their own cousins celebrate Christmas. My son is given presents which I then feel obligated to give back. So, for us it’s definitely difficult - am not quite sure I am always successful in helping my son value his Muslim identity this time of year.
What did you actually say to your children in response to their request. This is a great reflection but quite complex in terms of discussion with young children.
Salam--thank you for reading and thank you for the question! It's a really good one but, because of when I became a stepfather, I haven't ever had to face the challenge of how to answer these kinds of questions with much younger kids. Although I can shed some background that might be helpful, God willing.
When the girls asked the question they did, that is, about having a Christmas tree, they were about 13 and 11, if I remember right. Their mom answered the question as follows: she said that we were Muslim, and it wasn't our holiday, and so quite simply we didn't celebrate.
But then they pointed out that some of their Muslim friends had Christmas trees, and these included friends who attended the local masjid (ICGC) and Sunday school too. That one we navigated carefully. We said we treated Christmas trees as part of celebrating Christmas. Other families didn't.
We told them that every family had their own way of doing things, but that was ours; I don't know that it was incredibly persuasive, but they seemed to accept this, or at least quietly dropped it. Later that week, though, we went to jumu'ah (Friday prayers) and experienced a divine intervention.
A preacher we hadn't heard before gave an impassioned sermon about the importance of maintaining a strong Muslim identity. It was quite good, good enough that, on her own, the eldest volunteered that she liked it and she understood why we didn't have Christmas trees.
Since then, it hasn't come up. (To the best of my knowledge, our youngest, who's close to 10 now, hasn't asked about it recently either.) But because of how important it is, and because I want my answer here to make sense to them one day, I decided that tawheed was going to be the focus of our halaqa.
We slowly and gradually explored tawheed and, with it, slowly and gradually introduce its opposite, to help them understand the basic reasons for Muslim practices. We don't know if that's enough, but we think it's really important (even as we recognize it's a work in progress...)
How about you? I take it from your question that the topic's of interest--so I'm guessing it's come up in some way?
How have you addressed it?
I have a 9 year old and a 3 year old. The 3 year old is oblivious still. The 9 year old asked once and I gave the same kind of answer as above ( I was hoping you had better ideas lol). He seems ok with it and never brought it up again, but sometimes I feel being Muslim especially this time of year is a hard sell. He may be thinking about it and just not verbalising his feelings. Ours is the the only house on the street without lights. He’s a minority at school not getting presents this time of year. To complicate this some members of the family are not Muslim, and my children will see their own cousins celebrate Christmas. My son is given presents which I then feel obligated to give back. So, for us it’s definitely difficult - am not quite sure I am always successful in helping my son value his Muslim identity this time of year.